Aria

I was just 16 when I found out I was pregnant. I never thought I would go through loss. I found out I was pregnant with a little girl, Aria.

When I was around 15-16 weeks pregnant, I had a ultrasound done. I thought nothing of it until it happened. I remember the doctor came in and sat down and told me that she needed to talk with me. By the look of her face, it wasn’t good. She told me she thought my baby had something called Dandy-Walker syndrome. I cried and cried for the next couple weeks until I could see a specialist. Around 18 weeks, I saw a specialist. I remember how dark the room was and I was sitting there alone. I remember the ultrasound technician telling a student that it did not look good. 

A few minutes later, the specialist came in. She said it was much worse than Dandy-Walker syndrome, it was something called Alobar holoprosencephaly. I went to a couple more different specialists and there was not much they could do. No one was sure what was going to happen until she was born. Most babies do not live with the case she had.

I got induced and she was born alive! She was in the NICU for most of her short life. She got to come home for around 3 weeks on hospice. Her condition caused her to have seizures constantly and her body temperature was hard to keep up and she had to have oxygen as well. Her brain did not divide into two parts like ours. It was the hardest thing to do she was hurting and screaming and crying in pain. Hospice sent us to the hospital and we all slowly watched her pass away.

After she passed away, I found out I was pregnant. I was so scared and hurt. Feeling so many emotions. About a week later I said my finale goodbye to her at her service. The hardest thing in the world!

The next morning I started bleeding and went to the ER, only to find out I was having a miscarriage. I am now a grieving mom of two – at only 18 years old.